More of the story

So I should tell you that Lexi had neuropsychiatric testing in January of this year.  I didn't get the report until the first part of May.  When I got the report I read the entire 17 pages.  I was actually shocked.  I knew she had problems, but this spelled it all out for me.  This is when I started to worry that she has no good future.  Will she ever get past these issues? She has several diagnosis.  ADHD, ODD, severe depression and anxiety, body dismorphic disorder, attachment disorder, and borderline personality disorder.  It says in her report how she always works against herself.  How she expects nothing of herself, that way she never feels like she fails.  How one minute she wants someone right next to her and the next minute she wants you to get the heck away from her.  And how she is always wanting attachment from boys, and that she has less morals than most people.  It's strange, I guess, that she has a superior IQ in some areas.  Sometimes it makes sense to me, other times it doesn't.  It's really hard to explain.  If I can figure out a way to attach the report, I will. 
She just "graduated" DBT therapy today.  I am not happy about it because what the heck am I going to do with her everyday while I'm at work?  The only good thing about her getting out is that I can get her into a different psychiatrist (while in therapy you are not allowed to go to any other psychiatrist besides the one on staff there), which I did today.  We discussed how in the last month ever since she was increased to 20 mg of Abilify, she has been very agitated.  Her triglycerides were also pretty high at 376.  She has also had a weight gain of 14 pounds in 2 months.  He decided we need to start getting her off the Abilify and start Lamictal.  FINALLY!  The Abilify seemed to work about the first year, but it's almost like she hasn't been taking anything for the last 1 1/2 years.  I am very excited to see how this med helps.  I'm praying it's going to be a miracle!  Going it brings her out of her depression a little too.  Actually, hope it helps the depression a lot!  I never knew how bad depression can affect a person.  She is almost OCD about make-up and hair, but hygiene is awful!  I mentioned this in my first post, but, I'll tell you a little more.  So, when on her menstral she doesnt keep herself clean.  There are times when I can't stand to be near her because of the smell.  It's difficult even going into the bathroom after she has been in there.  It's sad.  I feel bad and embarrassed for her because I know other people can smell it too.  I figure someone will say something mean to her about it, and it will break my heart.  But, I wonder if it would make her be more clean.  My guess is she will get mad and then not change a thing.  I wish I could get her to understand.  Talking about it always puts her in a rage.  Her rages have become so much more often and are getting physical, which in turn has made me get physical.  There was a situation about 2 months ago.  My husbands work was having a company party and just before it was time for me and the kids to drive out to the party to meet him, lexi decided she would rather hang out with a friend.  I told her she could try to find someone quickly.  Of course there was no one.  So she started getting mad because she didn't want to go to a stupid company party, but, she wasn't going to stay home alone.  I told her she would have to make a decision.  She angrily decided to go with us. She was complaining the second we got in the car.  Bitching about everything!  I told her she needed to make the best of it and to not continue acting this way.  That was in one ear and out the other!  I finally turned the car around, drove home and asked her to get out.  She refused!  I told her we knew where this was going and that I wasn't putting up with her attitude all night.  She told me I could try to pull her out of the car, but, she wasn't getting out.  I said fine and I'll just drive you to JRC (juvenile receiving center) and they can get you out.  Boy did that set her off!  I lost it and punched her in the leg, very hard.  What is sad is that I didn't even realize I had done it until after I hit her.  I remember getting a kind of feeling like when you are about to pass out.  Light headed and a burning sensation in my nose.  Holy shit! I couldn't believe myself!  This girl can take me to a point no one had ever taken me before!  That is scary.  A few days later I found out she had smoked pot with a friend (2nd offense).  I told her there would have to be consequences.  I was pissed!  She made me pay the price for giving her consequences.  Got so ugly that I had to call the police 2 nights in a row.  She went to crisis residential about 2 days later.  She was gone for a month. I saw her every other day or so while she was there.  She came home and the very first night coming home we ended up in a battle again.